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10 Tips for Spicing Up Your Sex Life

10 Tips for Spicing Up Your Sex Life

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Looking for some tips to spice up your sex life? Here are our top 10 – add yours in the comments below!

Tip # 1: If your sex drive isn’t what is used to be, speak with your doctor.

Whether you believe you have an underlying medical condition that is causing your loss of libido, or simply need someone to listen to your woes, talk to your doctor about your sex life. Make a list of any questions you have in advance, communicate all your concerns and be sure to share all factors that could play a role in your declined sex drive – from relationship issues to changes in your physical health.

A medical and/or naturopathic professional can test for, and treat, potential underlying illnesses or physiological causes of low libido. If you are prescribed medications, be sure to discuss possible sexual side effects. Sometimes, an equally effective medication can be prescribed that has fewer (or no) sexual side effects.

Tip # 2: Get to know your own body, sexually.

Self-stimulation or, yes ladies we’re going to say it, masturbation can be an excellent way for a woman to develop a good understanding of the types of stimulation she finds arousing. Knowing what type of stimulation you enjoy most and how to bring yourself to orgasm will help ensure that you can help  your partner. Believe it or not, most men like a woman who knows what she wants and how she wants.

Tip # 3:Use a lubricant.

Lack of proper lubrication during intercourse can cause irritation, infections and can be generally uncomfortable. Even if you have adequate natural lubrication, the extra slipperiness afforded by a water-based lubricant can be highly arousing for women and their partners! And, be bold – try one of the warming, scented or flavoured lubricants to really add some heat to the bedroom!

Tip # 4: Introduce a sex toy

Introducing a sex toy into the bedroom can add an element of fun and excitement. In recent years many new toys that are specifically designed for a women’s pleasure have been introduced.

Tip # 5: Make lifestyle changes

Moderate exercise and a healthy diet are vital to maintaining a good sex drive. Chronic dieting can have a devastating impact on your energy level, metabolism and body image. Moreover, diets that are very low in fat are particularly problematic because your body needs some fat to make hormones such as testosterone, a hormone essential for sexual drive and response. Yoga, mindful meditation and courses in assertiveness and stress management can also help women acquire important tools to deal with the daily stressors that can dampen one’s sexual desire.

Plan ahead. While some may say that takes the spontaneity and romance out, planning head ensures you ahve time to fantasize, get yourself feeling and looking your best and helps prevent unwanted interruptions.

Tip # 6: Do kegels

The Kegel (named after Dr. Arnold Kegel) is the name for the exercise used to strengthen the pubococcygeus (PC) muscles that make up the pelvic floor. These muscles act like a hammock that supports pelvic organs: the bladder, urethra, uterus, and bowel.

Kegel exercises can increase sexual satisfaction and orgasmic capacity.

How do I do Kegel exercises?

The first step is finding and isolating the PC muscles. One of the simplest ways to do this is to sit on the toilet and begin to urinate. Try to stop the flow of urine midstream. The muscles you contract in order to stop the flow of urine are the pelvic floor muscles. Repeat this action several times until you become familiar with the sensation of contracting and relaxing these PC muscles. Another technique is to insert a finger inside your vagina and try to squeeze the surrounding muscles. If you are doing this correctly, you will be able to feel your vagina tighten when you squeeze and release as you relax. Once you have identified the PC muscles, you are ready to start your Kegel workout:

  1. Empty your bladder and get into a comfortable position (sitting or lying down)
  2. Contract your pelvic floor muscles
  3. Hold the contraction for four seconds and then relax for four seconds
  4. Repeat 10 times, three times per day
  5. Work up to contracting and relaxing for 10 seconds at a time, three times per day
  6. No special “attire” required

The beauty of Kegel exercises is that they can be done anywhere at any time. You don’t need to belong to a gym or own any fancy outfits in order to do them, and you won’t even break a sweat! Only you and your vagina will know you’re exercising!

Tip #7: Address Relationship Issues

The quality of a relationship, particularly a couple’s communication, has a significant impact on sexual satisfaction and overall desire to be intimite. So get talking! Resolve any relationship issues and emotional barriers before engaging in sexual intimacy.

Tip #8: Love Your Body!

How you feel about yourself and your body will greatly impact your overall sexual satisfaction and your desire to engage in intimacy. Remember that you are beautiful and embrace every curve, lump and bump. Own who you are and be proud of your body!

Tip #9: Seek counseling when necessary

At times, it may be helpful to seek counseling from a sex therapist or couples counselor skilled in addressing sexual issues.

Tip #10: Try a natural libido supplement

Yes. . . there’s a supplement for that! Many women have experienced significant improvement in vaginal lubrication and sensitivity while using a natural libido supplement, such as femMED’s Libido formula. You can purchase them over the counter at most major pharmacies or order them online. They are side-effect free and unlike popular sex drugs like Viagara, they are natural health products so they are gentle on the system.

 

Kelli Young
Kelli Young earned her degree in occupational therapy in 1992 from the University of Western Ontario. She is a registered occupational therapist with training, certification and expertise in the areas of Marriage and Family Therapy, and Sex Therapy. Since 1992 she has worked in the Eating Disorders Program at the Toronto General Hospital where she provides group, individual, family and couple therapy. She also has a private practice in Toronto. Read her full bio here.

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