Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to. But if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected! -author unknown
Isn’t that the truth, especially during perimenopause and menopause. For many of us, one wrong move or word by the people who matter to us the most, can mean a quick disconnect (read SNAP!!).
The average age for menopause is 51 — which is not so old these days. You can easily have many happy and healthy decades ahead of you, and in fact, research suggests that happiness typically increases as women age. Why then, can this time in a woman’s life, be so challenging for our relationships?
Menopause can affect our love relationships, in both positive and sometimes negative ways. The freedom from pregnancy and for many of us, child-rearing, can provide us the time to rediscover our sexual selves and our partners.
The challenge is now that you finally have the freedom to rediscover yourself sexually, the common symptoms of menopause – irritability, anxiety, depression, lack of sleep, zero libido and a dry vagina can make it somewhat challenging. It is difficult to be loving, sexual, kind, and patient in the throes of hot flashes, anger, exhaustion, depression and simply not feeling like yourself.
There are solutions.
A recent client of mine illustrates what is possible after menopause when we are proactive, knowledgeable and find collaborative health providers. Margaret is 55 and found that her previously healthy relationship with her husband changed dramatically after menopause. She was cranky, had no sex drive and suffered hot flashes every night. Her experience made it impossible to get a restful sleep. She felt miserable and isolated. She missed the way things used to be between them. Being proactive, she began her own research and found an integrative health professional who advised her to have her hormone levels tested, suggested a therapist, and a nutrition expert. They helped her work through the various issues that were interfering with her relationship and her health.
I worked with Margaret for 6 sessions and during that time she started taking natural health supplements that I use and recommend; specifically, femMED’s Menopause Relief and Libido. Menopause Relief is an excellent product that helped Margaret manage her menopausal symptoms such as hot flashes and mood swings and femMED Libido which helped boost Margaret’s libido.
Because our relationships can really improve for the better during this time, I recommended that she read “Passionate Marriage” by Dr David Schnarch. It is my favourite book for learning how to grow within yourself and thereby grow your relationships.
Margaret reported major breakthroughs in how she felt physically, mentally and emotionally during our last session.
I encourage you not to give up if menopause is adversely affecting YOUR relationships. There is hope, help and many years left to both thrive and embrace life to its fullest!